Tuesday 17 November 2009

Cake Baker Extreme

Thanks to a broken down train I spent a vaguely enjoyable 20 minutes sitting in a carriage just outside West Croydon station today. For entertainment I had several copies of The Metro. Normally I wouldn't even sully my backside by using this drivel as bog paper but, needs must!

I found this in there (the Metro - not the lav), and I kinda liked it:

China: A husband has left his wife after she forced him to eat cake for every meal. Cheng Yu said he was happy with the sugary treats at first but now just mentioning the word cake made him feel ill. "Egg cake (whuh??), fruit cake, chocolate cake. I felt like a bakery dustbin" he said. The 31 year old from Beijing has threatened to divorce Tian Mae, 27, if she doesn't stop baking.

I reckon she should've married a cyclist.

Thursday 5 November 2009

Fireworks Display

Haven't been by for a while. Here's a little poem by K - brought home from school yesterday.

The Fireworks Display


Zooming rockets sometimes imposebel to see
because they zoom around all night

Roaring fireworks magnificently shooting up in the air

Sizzling sparcelers make me want to laugh because they
are like fairys dancing in the sky

Spinning catherine wheels sparkling in the sky like a ferris wheel

Good work kiddo ;)

Tuesday 6 October 2009

The Summer, A Poem by Danny Dork

So I'm sitting in the park doing some work, escaping the noise and dust of the builders. It's a beautiful day, I'm the only one in the park, I must have the largest office in London, cool.

I look at the bench I'm sitting on and it has been signed by Danny Dork. I look at the paving around the bench and in the same handwriting is a poem. It reads:

The summer is getting shorter each day
We are not gonna change until it's away
Forget the routine and live life your way
Just like it's the last hot summer day

Not bad Mr Dork, could have tried a bit harder with the rhyming thing, but not bad.

Tuesday 15 September 2009

Volcano Island, a poem by KJ Shaw, age 6.5

Volcano Island

Furious fire bursting with lava
Dark wild water scaring me away
Dark scary clouds touching my head
Scary flashing lightning

Wednesday 19 August 2009

The Power of Poo

Damn! Seems those darn critters are good for something after all. K, I bow to your superior intellect.


Thursday 23 July 2009

Remnants of Romance


Hippy the Hippo and Hugger the Bear had a date round our place earlier today. It didn't work out too well as Hippy has gone home and Hugger went to bed, softly crying. I'm not sure why love didn't blossom, for sure it can't have been the dinner.
The flowers were hand picked from the garden. What was on the hand written menu?
Pasta, Lazana, Spageti, Salard, Rise + Chicken, Lobster, Lamb-chap, meringue ice-creem, Yogaut Drink
I spied the waiter's pad. They ordered Two meedem porshens of lobster and meringue ice creem.
I'm lost. I have no idea why they are not still together, have you?


Thursday 16 July 2009

Roll the tanks, call up an airstrike



I was in the garden picking veg for our tea. On the fence I saw the airforce waiting for their orders to swoop. On the broad beans I saw a fleet of red and black tanks, rolling over the green hills, laying waste to the blackfly hordes.
In my bowl, I see the prize. I'm hungry, not for long.



Tuesday 14 July 2009

Midweek Mile Munching


Tuesday morning 09.30. Four men meet outside Purley Tesco. Their interest is not mid week food shopping or club card points, it’s mile munching.

They wheel their steeds across Purley and the first shower starts. Macs on, chocks away. Peeing down in Purley, wet in Whyteleafe, worse in Woldingham, cats and dogs in Crowhurst. The men laughed. The rain was warm and the roads were quiet.

Lingfield, Dormansland, Marsh Green and Edenbridge all fall by the way side. The miles are munched, the rain stops, the macs are packed. The sun comes out.

This countryside is like a jigsaw, they all know bits of it and it fits together quite beautifully.

The lure of refreshment in Westerham is strong. So a hill must be conquered. A big one. The men fix each other with steely gaze through plastic lens and ride on. The choice is made. Toys Hill looms and the four grind on, each at their own pace. The mighty Toys has more false flats than a bankrupt property developer, it’s grim. Past the phone box and it kicks up again from grim to brutal in about ten yards. And like all great hills, it’s over. Conquered.

Swoops and sweeps, drags and digs, Westerhams’s Tudor Tea Room is calling. The men walk through the door and step back in time. Sandwiches, coffee and tea. The world is put to rights with consummate ease.

Onwards and upwards, the bunch breaks and goes separate ways, Coulsdon, Caterham, Selsdon, Carshalton.

50 miles in the bank, the highest quality miles in every sense.

Friday 3 July 2009

Rock and Rule

I'd been due to go to London today to celebrate a friend's birthday. Marco turns 30 and he's heading to St James' Park to kick things off this afternoon.

Yesterday I found out that the mum who usually picks up K from school (when Mrs Snoop is not around) is herself busy and could do with a little help. Not much, just needs someone to pick up her daughter. What's a boy to do?

I dropped marco a note explaining I had a kindness I wanted to repay which meant I could no longer attend and to say sorry about that.

Here's marco's lovely reply:

"It is important to repay kindness, as without mums we'd be lost. There was this old saying (19th century perhaps) that goes: the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."

I reckon marco's party will be a real blast, and I can't wait for a walking home from school ice cream come four o'clock.

Friday 12 June 2009

Three Strikes and You're Out!

Ouch! That was a lot of walking for one day. A total of 18.5 miles or so left me with very sore feet.

If you fancy a look at the stats, plus the GPS map, plus a 1.5 minute vid then you know where to look.

Thanks for all the messages of support I received, it was a fun journey.

Tuesday 9 June 2009

There are Heroes Everywhere



Last Saturday Carole, K and I took a train into the fourth dimension. Well actually we went to the Smithfield Nocturne. It's a great evening of full on cycle racing, with beer, great company and good food to boot.

Team Addiscombe had two racers in the support race. Sylvain Garde and Toks Adesanya. The race takes place on a very tight 1.1km circuit around Smithfield Meat Market. Right from the off there was trouble as a Rapha rider took the very first corner way too wide and smashed heavily into the barriers. A Dulwich Paragon rider couldn't avoid the crash but he eventually got up and rode on to much applause. All the other riders avoided the incident though Toks very nearly fell victim to it, some sharp bike handling saved his skin.


The race soon settled with Sylv among the front runners. The pace was relentless with an average speed in excess of 40 km/h. After 40 minutes there were five laps called to decide the winners. Sylv was still close to the front, Toks further back in the main bunch. In the final couple of laps, Sylv held on in 6th place before coming round the outside in the final turn. He belted for the line and was just caught, finishing in fine style with a fourth place. A great result. After the race we caught up with Sylv and he said "It was a great race and I thoroughly enjoyed it, the course was brilliant just what I like, and the crowds awesome!"

So, there's two heroes for you, Sylv and Toks. I met more cycling hero buddies, including Huw, Chloe, David, Sean & Ajay.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any more heroic, I turned to find myself face to face with Johnny Green. Johnny roadied for The Clash and wrote a fantastic book about his experiences with them. Several years later he wrote a great book about following the Tour de France. What's a boy to do? I approached him and we enjoyed (well I did and I think he did) a few lovely minutes mixing up The Clash and cycling. Friendly guy, seemed surprised to be recognised and happy to talk. Great fun, one of those special moments.

There are Heroes Everywhere.

Mr Snoop Walks to Work

48 hour tube strike starts tonight, talk about doing dumb things to your customers. I have to be in London on Thursday. My bike has a flat tyre and a busted spoke. I could fix it. I'm not going to, yet. Instead of cycling into St Pauls I'm going to walk. It's only around 15 miles. I'll plan a route that follows as much river and parkland as practical, it should be fun.

I called into Radio London and told them about my planned adventure. Paul Ross asked me if I would skip at least part of the way. I will do just that. The plan will evolve on my Stop Doing Dumb Things to Customers site so why not check in and see how I get on? Any route suggestions, must sees, must not sees that you would like to recommend please go ahead.

Saturday 6 June 2009

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse


The rain came down. The four horsemen looked at each other, eyes cold as steel. The Internet Millionaire raised his right hand and they were off. The Whippersnapper broke from the front and led the way. He had to be told where to turn left.

In twos they stalked the Surrey lanes. Neddy drove past in his little car and proffered the one fingered salute. The Engineer said something about a highway code. The others just shrugged, and the rain came down.

The Cowardly Lion felt both brave and afraid, so he took it easy, biding his time. The lanes narrowed, and the dung of a thousand nags filled the nostrils. The Whippersnapper whipped and snapped his steed through the plethora of manure, flick flack. They talked of permission slips, sausages, fortunes won and lost, and the rain came down.

Neddy rode through again, still buzzing like an angry wasp, this time The Engineer just motioned as if to say, what ya gonna do? We did nothing, more than Neddy deserved.

Little Switzerland opened her canton like arms and the horsemen rode bravely on, some more than most. Swooping, darting, and the rain came down.

At the foot of the mountains, The Cowardly Lion stole past and pushed to the bottom of the zig zags. He waited, the four regrouped. The Cowardly Lion pushed on and soon his fellow horsemen were whispers on the breeze. He eased and The Whippersnapper pulled alongside. They sized each other up, without giving anything away. Whippersnapper pushed on and suddenly, from nowhere, like a true entrepreneur, The Internet Millionaire rode past. A diet of LBP-20 was too pure for most, but he could cope. The Engineer followed, he wore a mask of indifference, and somehow he knew he would be first to the tea shop.

Treacle tart, coffee and drizzle. Talk of world domination.

Homeward bound, the lanes were devoured like long strings of tarmac spaghetti. Italian. They hit Regalinos and ordered lattes ‘n’ macchiatos. They rode on and shortly after they split. The Cowardly Lion attacked a short, steep hill which burned then he coasted home, no brakes, even some swooping. He crossed the wild plains of Little Woodcote Estate. He caught a flat, ten yards from home, and the rain came down.

Epic Ride.

With thanks to Grahame, Marco and Bryn

Friday 5 June 2009

Excuse for Ice Cream


I finally got a resolution to the Battery Farm issue, they posted me a new phone. So, I had to return the old one. To be fair they did offer to collect but I didn't fancy a day in waiting...

I rode to the post office. Then, goods duly dispatched, I pushed on. Pootled out to Nonsuch Park and hoofed round that a couple of times. Both circuits took me near to the caff. It had some kind of people magnet thing going on and so second time around I found myself helplessly in the queue for an ice cream. The ice cream server would only let me choose one flavour, despite the fact I got two scoops, weird. Anyhoo, I went for mint with chocolate bits in. It was lovely.
I whizzed home, stopping off to collect K who had been playing at a friends house after school. She was pleased to see me but no too pleased that I'd had one of her favourite flavours of ice cream without her.
1 ice cream, 14.2 miles, average speed 12.2 mph. My computer says I hit 32.6 mph max but I think it's fibbing, I was in shade/under trees a while, jolly old satellite must've confused me with a pigeon or something.

Wednesday 13 May 2009

Security Breach

Ring ring it's 7am, move yourself to go again...

I'd been awake since 6, watching and waiting for the alarm. It didn't disappoint.

I could feel my spidey sense tingling, why?

Breakfast passed without incident, then it was time to ready K for school. After tooth brushing fun I flung open the curtains.

Sirens blared, security lights whirled and flashed. Holy rodents Batman, the guinea pig hutch front door was open wider than Gordon Brown's mouth after reading Hazel Blear's monthly expenses!

Quickly I adopted stealth mode and made for the bedroom door, signalling to Mrs Snoop to contain the situation whilst I checked the perimeter. As I ran downstairs, three at a time (Bond would've been proud), I thought of the possibilities...

1 - a fox has been in. This is gonna be messy
2 - weather related door openage. If this were the case I expected to find the two girls cowering safely in the back, they're none too brave y'know.

I was outside, up the garden steps in a single bound, I could see the sleeping compartment was empty, o crap. At the hutch. Phew! I can see two live ones - all clear.

I turned to the house. In true security stylee Mrs Snoop had redrawn the curtains.

Silence in the garden. All clear, all accounted for.

Note to self: Hutch needs a new door catch.

Friday 8 May 2009

Let's Go Racing

Step One, buy a racing bike. Check
Step Two, get a racing licence. Just off the phone from British Cycling. Check

More news when I get it...

Tuesday 5 May 2009

Walk and Talk

Our darling daughter spent le weekend with her auntie & cousins. Mrs Snoop and I took advantage of this. Train to London Victoria. Walk past Buck House and across The Green Park. Strolling along Berkeley Square, ducking in and out of Mayfair's enchanted alley ways. A stop for rosé champagne and edamame at Mews, lots of talking, lots of ideas, plans.

Department hopping in Selfridges. Café stops, snack stops, glass of Marlborough Sauvignon blanc stops.

Dinner at Hush. Service, and food to die for. Another glass or two, Taittinger this time. Lots of talking, lots of ideas, plans. Good job I brought along a note book.

A late evening stroll and a brief stop at The Goring, almost too old fashioned.

Sunday brought a lovely walk through the Surrey hills and a tip top lunch at the Stephan Langton, followed by a lost hour strolling, walking, talking, planning.

Wonderful in the extreme.

Thursday 30 April 2009

April's Word Cloud

Oh Gawd. A mate of mine just sent me Wordle knowing I couldn't resist. He was right. Here's the word cloud from this blog for this month. Pilates and Pirates are the same size. He he.




Wednesday 29 April 2009

Dimbo Goes to Town

I arrived home v late from a meeting Monday night. Checked the weather forecast and chose not to prepare my cycling gear. Next morning I took the train into London.

Financial cost: £12.60
Number of train seats sat in: 0
Pain in lower back: unnecessarily unpleasant
Zombified misery factor: Off the scale y'all

O glorious bicycle, why did I forsake thee.

Snoop

Friday 24 April 2009

Wikkidah!

He he, K and I made a vidrap about fallin' off bikes. Click over there on the right if you can bear to. I'm gonna save it and just maybe, show it at her wedding in goodness knows how many years time.

Tuesday 14 April 2009

Avast There Landlubbers!


I still can't quite believe it...Bank Holiday Monday saw us (yours truly and First Mate Curly) line up to compete (he he) in the Bolney Pram Race. We'd plumped for a pirate theme for some strange reason. We couldn't decide on a team name, despite a wonderful short list:

The Dalton Ladyboys
Pirates in Mens Pants
The Only Gay Pirates in the Village

It was a great fun event even though I bailed out after the first stint, sore back, yarrr. The ship sailed bravely on without me thanks to Able Seawoman Carole coming to the rescue. Lots of beer was drunk and we (they..) didn't come last. Can't wait for the next one.

Anarchy in the UK (well...kind of)

Last Saturday I turned up for my first club run since England last won the football word cup. I was on time, woohoo. There were a handful of folk at the station at 9, can't normally be like that, surely not. I mean, we got a note reminding us of start times barely a month ago. Personally I'm more in favour of complete anarchy than a half arsed attempt to set some direction and then not follow yer own instructions. So, after a lovely natter with a few mates I started to feel the cold and damp and headed off, on me tod, at 9.17.

Now when I say anarchy, I mean hard core anarchy. Y'see 9.17 is one minute after the 19 mph group is due to leave and 2 minutes before the 18s set off. There was no way I was gonna manage 18 and a bit mph average. D'you see what I did there. I broke the rules, well no one seemed to mind.

I then declared myself Chief Overlord of the C training group. I was elected unopposed and the feeling of power was awesome. I whizzed along to Reigate, getting caught by those renegades calling themselves the Training Group just as we entered town. We shared a few pleasantries, and tho I knew I could have the lot of 'em, I let 'em go. I was still feeling anarchic y'see.

On into the wilds of Surrey. I had a fantastic ride, digging in for some hard work at times and just enjoying myself, the scenery and the drizzle were nice too. I hit the caff with a 17.3mph average (do we have a departure time for 17.3 group??) and snarfed a bacon sarnie. Jon Avery and I then exchanged stories about food poisoning (him) and eating fish 9 days after it's eat by date (me - more anarchy - I just can't help meself). Time was ticking on and four of us decided to head fer the hills.

We had a cool ride back through the lanes, at one point Adrian went so fast his computer exploded off his bike in pure admiration. I was feeling good so went for it at the golf course rise. I reckon I went up there better than a drug fuelled pro cycling monkey, must've been that 7.something% beer I had last night. Avery caught me at the top, grrr. We had a quick regroup @ the church, a mere 30 sec separating us all. Off again, up and over Gatton Point and then the Merstham drag. I couldn't help myself and shot off the front again. I burned my remaining matches (see I do read the race reports) and hoofed up the drag pretty sharpish. I hit what I reckoned to be the finish and backed off. That damn Cornish Pirate came past me again and I was fresh out of Swan Vestas.

Down into Coulsdon then a blast up the steep hill to Wallyville. I managed the home leg in 16.3 average which I was pretty happy with considering the terrain. Heart rate maxed at 179, not bad for an auld get like me.

Great fun, I'm never leaving on time again :)

Friday 10 April 2009

Tip top titfer

La famille de Snoopington took the train & bus to South Ken and went to the Victoria & Albert museum today. Visited the World Fair section, beautiful wineglasses, dainty kids shoes. The ironwork section, examined some fascinating puzzle padlocks and enjoyed some biscuit tin frippery, went to the fashion dept, really poor punk outfit, mine were better. Then we hooked up with a couple of mates and went to a tip top titfer exhibition. Had to pay a fiver a head (wa wa waaaaa) for that but well worth it. Beautiful millinery, fun, exciting, colourful.

Quick whizz on da tube to Piccadilly, where we hunted down Yoshino. It's on Piccadilly Lane. Blimmin wonderful. Amongst other things we had: tuna, Salmon, mackerel nigiri (the mackerel was just spot on). Avocado rolls, eel and cucumber rolls and prawn tempura rolls, all at the top of their game. Mahi Mahi tempura (woohoo), sweet potato tempura, mmmm. Edamame, miso soup. Tuna carpaccio (oh boy), spinach with sesame dressing (droool). Kirin Ichiban beer x 2. One of the best sushi feasts I've ever had, under £20 per head for central London. Does it ev'ry time. If you like japanese food, there was loads on the menu we didn't get to - go, try, enjoy.

Thursday 9 April 2009

When was the last time you had a jam tart?

I've just had one :)

Why?

To celebrate two fantastic days of cycle commuting including a good soaking on the way in on Wednesday, plus on the way home a fantastic blast towards the Elephant & Castle on traffic free roads. Thanks to some kind person who stacked their lorry earlier in the afternoon the ole bill had cordoned off the area letting only us two wheeled terrors through. Hoorah!

Had a rocking Pilates class last night too.

All in all a good week so far for fitness. So, the jam tart is the yin to the fitness yang. It was strawberry. Nice but not as nice as I wish it had been. Jam tart making is a dying art it seems.

Happy Easter y'all!

Snoop

Friday 3 April 2009

You Gotta Love it!

After a very well structured stretching session @ camp Pilates last Wednesday, I've been raring to stretch my legs on the bike. I picked up a sore back in the East Surrey Hardriders a few weeks ago, caused in part by some pretty shoddy bike set up work at Dauphins Cycles. They are helping me to put things right, but I wish I didn't ache so much. Anyway, double nurofen for breakfast and I'm off to play with the traffic. Took the road bike and travelled very light.

Bare knees for the first time in 09 and I could feel the chill air. I took it fairly easy but couldn't resist a few wind up and go moments, particularly when coming down the outside to get first off from the lights (always on green of course). I had a hairy moment coming into Brixton when a kind lady overtook me and immediately turned left, cut me out completely. Had a few tight squeezes in width restrictions too. Hit a pot hole somewhere en route and heard my rear light disintegrate and scatter across the A23. No time to stop, it would've been smushed anyway.

So - quite a scary ride. Having showered, I'm sitting here in the office finishing my coffee wondering, should I have taken the train? You're kidding right? There's no two ways about it, when it ain't raining, cycling's the only way to commute.

Thursday 26 March 2009

Wii Shall Overcome


Together we can do anything. Keira and I are getting seriously good at Mario Kart on the Wii. Team efforts, solo races, you name it we're winnin' it. Look out world.

Monday 23 March 2009

Tree Hugging is Good For You!


It's true folks:

• Asthma rates for children fall 25% for every extra 350 trees per sq km.

• Money for a new Heathrow runway could provide 22m street trees.

• 1,000 new parks could help avoid 74,000 tonnes of carbon a year.

• For every 5% of tree cover added, water run-off is reduced 2%.

• A treeless street is 5.5C (10F) warmer than a tree-lined one in hot summers.

• Property in treeless streets is worth 18% less than buildings in roads that have trees.

So what are you waiting for, get planting and if you've already planted, get hugging :)

Sunday 22 March 2009

Demons

I left home at 7am this morning to take part in the Southern Counties Sporting 25 full of optimism after an enjoyable ride in the 10 miler the day before. Took the time trial bike and decided to try out my Corima 4 spoke front wheel for the first time. The course is a double loop on the A24 and A29 with a little tail to finish. Rode about 6 miles for a warm up then got ready for the off.

Scooted along the first stretch of lane in pretty good order then turned onto the A24 and into a stiff headwind. It took an age to battle down the road. As I rode, my mind drifted very uncomfortably. I kept trying to clear my head but all manner of dark thoughts came creeping in. I turned onto the A29 and figured with the wind at my back I’d start to go better. No such luck. Come on, you can do it, just focus. Nope. I don’t wanna (that’s not actually what I thought, I’ll keep that to myself). Dominic and his boys gave me a shout along the road (I didn’t realise it was them until later) and I struggled, really struggled on for a few more miles. AT about the 9 mile mark I had completely unravelled mentally and I just pulled over. I felt awful letting myself down like this but I knew I just couldn’t carry on. I tootled back to the HQ, got some counselling over a cup of tea and then buggered off quick sharp before my team mates got back. I wasn’t in the mood for talking, making excuses, anything.

What a shocking contrast this race was compared to the day before. Hugely disappointing, and worrying.

Goodbye Keith


The Addiscombe Cycling Club lost one of its oldest members when Keith Wawman died earlier this week. There were loads of team ACC out racing this weekend all of us keen to pay our respects in some way.

My long road back to some kind of form continued at the Southern Counties Sporting 10 miler down at Oakwoodhill. It was a sunny day and so I warmed up by riding round the course to have a look-see. Beautiful countryside, draggy course. Took me 40 minutes to spin round, I reckoned I could manage 33 minutes against the clock.

The course is an upside down figure of eight starting with a nice 3 mile loop followed by a drag up the A29 then more country lanes. I’d fashioned a black armband from some ribbon tied round my arm several times then tied off and tucked under itself. At the start of the race it looked reasonably tidy. After 2 miles, the ends had worked themselves loose and were flapping about, doubtless causing huge amounts of drag. I kept faffing with the armband and as I did so I imagined Keith laughing about it. So, I left it tied on and whipping around in the wind.

The small loop ends with a sharp downhill which I wasn’t keen on, then up the other side (that’s better) and on to the A29 and a headwind. I passed the 5 miles to go mark at 16 minutes. Hmm. Better revise my target a bit, I can manage 32 minutes surely.

Once off the main drag I pushed on along the lanes, enjoying myself more than my limited fitness should have let me. Twisting and turning I could’ve sworn I was getting a wee push at times. I finished in 31.14. I used a Garmin for the first time this season. My heart rate averaged 165bpm and I topped out at 180. So, still nowhere near fit enough but I worked hard today. An enjoyable ride and a nice way to say see ya to Keith.

Wednesday 18 March 2009

Peer Group Pressure

I'm not happy, not happy at all. After yesterday's fashion tomfoolery I had a moment of weakness this morning. Train again, still nursing myself towards the racing weekend. Paul Smith suit on (Ted Baker yesterday if you're interested) and there I am in front of the shoe cupboard. I reach for the trainers. Scruffy though they may be, these trainers were chosen for me by a specialist who filmed me running and walking before making their recommendation. These trainers are a good fit, supportive. And scruffy.

I bottled it and at the last second, veered towards a pair of black and grey Fly shoes. Fashionable, more suitable, visually at least. I slipped them on and off I went. 2.5 miles later I'm sitting at my desk regretting my weakness, feeling very sore again. Fashion is fine, but when you're not quite 100% fitted comfort wins every time. I'm sticking to my guns in future.

Tuesday 17 March 2009

Fashion Faux Pas?



Well now. I'm not averse to fashionista foul ups. How can I be, I cycle to work in lycra for goodness sake! But...

I'm on the train today in a desperate attempt to nurse my overstretched legs back to health in time for the weekends racing. I'm attempting a hilly 10 on Saturday and a 25 on Sunday. Mother's Day lunch looms large afterwards....sorry I digress.

So - today I get to wear a suit, whoopee! This is a rare treat for me. When I travel by train into work I walk about 5 miles to/from stations. To make this walk more pleasurable, I opt for, let's call it appropriate footwear. Appropriate for walking that is, not for suiting. Yup, you guessed it, I wear trainers with my suit.

Someone at work tells me that doing this will ensure a seat all to myself on the train. They asked me where the accompanying can of Special Brew is? Weird. Are suits and trainers such bad bedfellows that only the hardcore drunk and homeless can afford to be seen wearing them? I have to say that although I'm OK stalking the corridors of power with my cycling gear on, I do feel a bit odd sneaking about in my sneakers.

So what do you think? Is it OK to mix sporting goods and formal wear....ever? Should this combo simply be banned, or should I be proud of my new connections to the wider community and to hell with it all?

Snoop

Thursday 12 March 2009

East Surrey Hardriders - Blew My Mind


Mixed feelings for me about this race. I don't like this course, even less so in the very windy conditions. I did a 1.35.13 last year and being an unfit so and so I was aiming for anywhere between 1.35 and 1.40. Arrived in time for a half decent warm up on the turbo and no port in my system from the night before. Rob RE and I rolled off to the start and had a quick natter with Dominic before getting ready for the off. At the start I was feeling much better than the Redhill 18 and (almost) looking forward to it.

the start of the course is flat n easy (guess where the pic was taken). Few grotty bits heading back towards Reigate and then over the heath. The wind really hit me here, hey ho, me no like. Got onto the A25 and mentally, pretty much fell apart. The wind really rattled my cage and it was all I could do to relax enough to keep going. Flats or ups, great. Downs, no thanks. I was crawling down any decline, braking. For goodness sake!!!


My confidence was all over the place, I well and truly had the wind up me. I thought of bailing more than once but no. I really enjoyed the A24 climb and I was actually reeling people in on the hills but the minute the road fell, so did my speed. I did this event with no gadgets I'm glad to say as the downhill speeds would have you all in stitches. I wibbled and wobbled my way round, thoroughly enjoyed the short squirt along the A264 and huffed and puffed up the rusper hill. I was hoping the lanes might provide me some shelter and allow me to push harder for the last few miles.

Nope, I was having none of it. I wussed my way home, hard on the ups, even harder on the flats and ridiculously cautious on the downs. So - a horrible (tortuous even) ride, bizarrely finishing just inside my target range (1.39.24). Trouble is, if I could shake these demons I know I'd have been a lot, lot faster today. 29.9 miles of hell.

Somebody get me a Doctor.

Hot or Cold? I know which I prefer...

Carbon monoxide detector went off on Feb 9th. Whoah - CO is powerful stuff, it nearly got me. Wooop woop woop downstairs I went and my head went kablooie! I called the gas board and I couldn't get my sentences out, blurred, dazed and confused. Gas man came, disconnected us. Very quick - good in an emergency. Following day service engineer came and ye olde boiler got condemned. Shame but hey - I'd rather be cold and alive than warm and dead.

More later...

Monday 23 February 2009

Redhill Sporting 18 Mile TT

The Redhill Sporting 18. Straight to Hell - with in head song assistance from The Clash..

The plan, survive. The target, sub 1.05. The stretch, under the hour. Experimenting with no heart rate monitor/garmin/speedo - how's that gonna work?

I'm the last carrot in Sainsbury's, 2nd last man off. Pete Rocket Man Tadros is a minute behind me and the geezer in front of me did not start. I'm not looking forward to this - my head is in the wrong place, mentally like, it's still physically attached to my shoulders.

If you can play on the fiddle
How's about a British jig and reel?
Speaking King's English in quotations
As railhead towns feel the steel mills rust
water froze, In the generation
Clear as winter ice
This is your paradise

Spin off from the start down a short hill before getting slammed in the chest by the 1 in 8 fun of Coast Hill. I wonder if I can hold Tadros off until the top. 3/4 of the way up and I'm in a right old state, good job I don't have the heart rate monitor on as it would've burst. I made the summit and whooooosh, yer man goes past me like I'm rolling back down the hill. Hey ho, that'll be the last I see of anyone (cept the helpers) until the finish.This course has precious little going for it. It rolls, mostly upwards, and some of the road surface is v poor. So is my fitness level. I never felt good out there, never got on top of things, never managed to carry the downhill pace up the next hill.

There ain't no need for ya
There ain't no need for ya
Go straight to Hell
boys
Go straight to Hell boys
Two photographers and no tongues out from me, just the bitter twisted face of pain. As I'm hauling my ass round the course I'm thinking, "there ain't no way I'm gonna hit target, no way". I need some of that hypnotherapy.

Oh Papa-san
Please take me home
Oh Papa-san
Everybody they wanna go home

After what seemed an eternity, I pass a sign telling me I had five miles to go. Ahhh, something to focus on. This gave me a small boost and I'm sure I managed to push on from here. Four miles to go. Oooh, another one.

You wanna play mind-crazed banjo
On the druggy-drag ragtime U.S.A.?

The rest is pretty much a blur as I emptied the tank of the little gas that remained. I crossed the finish line and then began the longest roll back to race HQ I've ever had. I got back and felt awful. I didn't quite manage a puke but it was close.

Can you cough it up loud and strong
I'm pleased with my time of 57.27. It's at the top of what I could expect after a winter training regime of (mainly) cake and darts. Paul Hone asked if I was hungover, I must've looked rough. With hindsight, that small glass of port I had before retiring might not've been the smartest idea. Well done to all the ACC riders today and thanks to Rob RE for the shout. Well done to Redhill CC, a real killer ride, well marshalled.

Oh Papa-San
Please take me home

Sunday 1 February 2009

King For a Day? Plank for a Minute!

So, turns out I've been sneaking in a bit of pilates homework...

Yesterday early evening I found a quiet half hour in between bicycle fiddling, child party drop off/pick up, window cill varnishing duties.

Out came the mat and I spent the first few minutes feeling weirdly embarrassed (don't get that in class, only when flying solo). I was soon into the flow, pelvis tilting, mat thrusting and ab tightening with the best of 'em.

Lots of sit ups, feeling ribs slide, breaking at the breastbone (I think that's what Adam says). Good session of hamstring and inner wotsit stretches. Hard work feel the burn.

Then, the big finale. With trepidation I lie down on the mat. Fists balled I push up into the plank. A couple of weeks ago I managed 50 seconds of this, it hurts. Can I break the magic minute mark?

First 20 seconds goes by OK (ish) then it's a watch the clock but not too hard blur concentrate hold steady don't wobble ohmygod is that really only 40 seconds blimey how can this possibly hurt so much I'll never make it 50 seconds show no fear hold it hold it hold it aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghh!

61 seconds. Plank for a minute, king for a day!

Snoop

Saturday 31 January 2009

Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Busy getting Keira ready for her friend's party this evening. Quick check on the footie scores and Tranmere are winning one nil away from home, woohoo! Ten minutes later we pile into the car and switch on the radio in time to hear:

"Crewe Alexandra Two - Tranmere Rovers One"

We couldn't believe it! Well, I couldn't. Keira said, "Oh, we didn't win. What was the name of the winners?" I said, "A team called Crewe". "The Tinkle Crew?" asked Keira. I wish it had been.

The radio then went off and we listened to an Alabama 3 cd instead.

Snoop

Super Mega Aero Tuck


Well now. The first Time Trial of the season loometh large. Occured to me this morning that I really should try out the new bike before racing it. Hadn't even turned a pedal on it afore this morning.

Swooshed down to Coulsdon South Station to join my club mates. Very first impression, the bike is smoooooooth, way smoother than the rider.

Plan was just to do a few miles to get the feel of the thing and check it all works. Went out with the 18mph group and sorry folks, just couldn't resist putting the pedal down after the first roundabout. Bad form I know, sorry.

So I'm zooming along the A23 thinking, I like this bike. And I can't help but feel I'm getting more and more aero. Super Mega Aero in fact. Then it hit me, the handlebars weren't quite tight enough and they were slowly, steadily, dropping.

Ah well it was fun while it lasted and I guess mission accomplished. Back home to tighten some nuts eh finbarr?

Snoop

Tuesday 27 January 2009

Riding Like a Giant

Well it's been a looooong cake fuelled break but after seeing the temperature hold above freezing on Sunday and forecast for the same today, I steeled myself for the return of commutopia. Basically it's the jolly ole Kingston Wheelers Sporting TT on Feb 8th and if I want to finish it the same day I start I need to get me ar5e in gear.

Off I shot on my mtb complete with skinny tyres pannier rack. I was carrying a laptop, shoes, books, shirt, towel, loads of stuff. Laden down like a pack mule, good training. First couple of miles are down hill so it's a cold ish start and the damp conditions me no like either. Anyhoo, once I got to Mitcham I'm gettin into it and starting to work pretty hard.

The longer the ride goes on the harder I go. It's a zen like day and almost all the lights are green so I'm getting to work and getting a work out too. The nearer I get to Central London the more I go mashing along. Wow!! I've missed this (though I did like all that cake) and I'm belting round the Elephant and Castle, whizzing up towards Southwark Bridge. Pedal pedal pedal, almost feels like I'm getting bigger as I go at it hammer and tongs. Knees, feet, all a blur, bigger bigger.

Crawling all over the bike I go past St Pauls and then before I know it I swoop off the road and into the underground car park. Slap! My feet go down on the floor as I stop to get my ID out for the security dude. 'ang on a minute.....feet flat on the floor. Whassat all about? I jump off the bike. My seatpost has slowly disappeared into the bike as I've gone tear arseing along. Not much blimmin wonder I felt so giant like - the bike was shrinking

Great ride, and a nice whizz home too.

Snoop

Sunday 25 January 2009

Addiscombe Cycling Club Review of the Year - 2008

The following was first published for those attending the annual club dinner and has been reproduced here for all club members.....and anyone else passing for that matter (but if you're not a club member you'd have to be a bit of a nerd to read all the way to the bottom..)


REVIEW OF THE YEAR 2008

At this year's dinner and prize presentation we once again celebrate some fantastic club and individual achievements. We've had successes large and small across all cycling disciplines, recruitment continues and membership currently stands at over 300

Club-runs

2008 was another roaring successful year on the road clubrun, as the weather was kinder during the winter of 2007/2008 we had 100+out most Saturdays, throughout the year we had 80-110 out. Two notable rides were to Brighton & were aimed at the whole clubrun rather than a specific group-83 & 85 out. Normal groups include 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 & training group, with the first Saturday of month being a just for fun ride. We even had an off-road clubrun to the cafe, which we hope to resurrect in spring as a once a month event.

We had rides to Isle of Wight & Monty's 8th Tour of Mallorca plus numerous specific group rides into Surrey, Kent & Sussex, and Paul Tunnell led a small invasion of France. All the above stats are taken as the norm in ACC; in any other club they would be sensational. The road clubrun has now had 9 years of year on year success after the previous 5 yrs of decline, which translates into on average 1 member joining ACC per week, every week, for 9 yrs!!!!!!!!!

Sunday rides about once a month have returned; a mixture of beginners' rides and training rides. A Saturday off-road clubrun to Charlwood has been pioneered by Aodan Higgins and has been very successful. Rides to Leith Hill are now also becoming regular.

Road-racing

In his last year as a Junior Stuart Chamberlayne picked up enough points to retain his 2nd Cat status and had two trips to race in Belgium with the South of England Team, on one of the occasions showing his Addisombe colours off in Europe. Racing in this Country his highlights were an 8th and 5th in SL Handicaps during May and an 8th in July.

Keith Lea used the Hillingdon Winter Series to progress from 4th to 3rd Cat including two 2nd places. Continuing his racing in the Surrey League and SERRL races his best results were a 7th at Benenden in May, and then a 3rd and a 5th at Crystal Palace later in the year.

Daniel Gower also moved to 3rd cat with one 2nd place in the Hillingdon Winter series and then competed in a number of Surrey League and SERRL races as well as at Crystal Palace.

Paul Hone raced early season including a 9th in March in the Surrey League before switching to Duathlons where he was 4th in the World Age Group Championships in Rimini.

Marek Siwicki was back as an Addiscombe regular, his best result a 5th in a SERRL race in May.

Toks Adesanya was also back racing in Addiscornbe colours and regained his 2nd Cat licence with some excellent performances late in the season including a win at Goodwood, a 3rd and a 2nd at the newly opened Hog Hill [Redbridge) circuit, and a 2nd in a Surrey League race in September giving him the points he needed.


The find of the year amongst the men was Andrew Ellis who raced well to a solo win in a July SL Handicap, and then two 6ths in SL races in September.

Crystal Palace was again a good stomping ground for Addiscombe with lots of riders competing (some novices) in the 3/4 cat. Highlights were Hal Bransby with eight top 10 placings including a 2nd and two 3rds, and gaining his 2nd Cat licence.Mike Wallace finished 3rd in his first road race!, Steve Broomfield had five top 10 placings including two seconds and one 3rd . Sylvain Garde had a 10th and a 7th in the E/1/2 races during the season.

Our club championships switched to the roads around the Home circuit and was duly won by Adam Cotterell who as a second claimer relinquishes the title once more to Stuart Chamberleyne. Antloony was a strong 'B' race winner.

For the women Tamar was back competing in a number of Crystal palace races but the star of the show was Michelle LeBrun. She started her racing in the Hillingdon Winter series and continued throughout the year gaining excellent results and progressing to 2nd Cat. Michelle's best results during the season were a win in May at Chertsey and a 2nd in July at the same circuit, a 4th at Thruxton, and 10th in the London Criterium Challenge at Hog Hill in September. The undisputed performance of the year was 4th in the BC South East Region Women's Road Race Championship.

Time-trialling

Addiscombe riders competed for the club in 97 open and association events throughout the year, ranging from the 700 yard Bec hillclimb to the ECCA 12 hour and all distances in between.
No club records were broken this year, closest was "new boy" George Brent who got within 1/2 a mile of the 12 hour record at his first attempt. George also made a clean sweep of the club TT trophies. Tamar did likewise for the ladies trophies, Paul Tunnell won the vets BAR trophy, and Stuart Chamberlayne won the Junior 10 trophy. Five riders (George Brent, Sylvain Garde, Robert Royle-Evatt, Paul Tunnell, andAndrew Green) competed in the National Championship 12-hour, and all of them finished. George came 10th overall, and with Sylv and Rob finished as 3rd team.


At the end of April, Tamar Collis successfully organised our open 25 mile time trial on the 625/53 course at Horsham. As well as the numerous people required to marshal this course, we also managed to field ten of our own riders in a full field of 120. The event was won by Paul Mill.

Our Open 10 in September was organised by Jon Hemming and was won by Keith Coffey. the only man to go under 22 minutes on a very wet day. Five ACC riders took part in the event, three of whom (M.McLaughlin, S.Davies, & P.Tunnell) won the fastest team prize, and Tamar won the ladies prize.

Final standings in the BBAR competition were G.Brent 38th [24.033mph], Paul Tunnell 74th [22.700mph]. R.Royle-Evatt 88th (22.399mph) and A.Green 144th (19.973mph). In the women's BBAR Tamar Collis finished 30th (22.452mph).

In the Southern Counties Cycling Union "Rawson shield" competition, the Addiscombe riders took a convincing win again, way ahead of any other clubs.

Cyclo-sportives

ACC jerseys were seen far and wide across the UK and Europe, as people took to the roads in the still growing cyclo-sportive scene. As many as 20 ACC riders can turn out at local events and even the Etape and Marmotte saw double figures of ACC entrants.

Track

A fairly quiet year on the track, with only a handful of riders taking part in the Monday and Wednesday track league and open events at Herne Hill. Unfortunately our club championships fell victim to this summer's weather

Off-road

ACC mountain bikers had some great results in races during the year. The Gorrick Spring Series kicking off in January; Simon Day (Masters on singlespeed, 20th, 24th, 27th), Aodan Higgins (Super Masters on mtb with racks & lights, 20th), Neil Me Lennan (Masters, 41st), Chris Kestell (Beginners, 6th), Sylvain Garde (Super Masters. 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th, 3rd overall) and recent recruit Serge Hunt (Open. 1st, 2nd, 10th, 12th). Gorrick Enduro in May, Sylvain 2nd in 6h44, 1"40 behind endurance vet Anthony White who passed him on the final lap!
Southern XC Series: Sue Ritchie (Open, 3rd), Serge who kept winning in Open, then 6th and 7th in Sports.
NPS: Serge 1st and 2nd (Open), then 5th place (Sports), Sylvain 9th (Masters).
National Champs: Serge 5th (Sports).


Beastway Series: Grahame Baker there most weeks as part of the organising team. Sylvain 1st (Masters), Marco making his comeback. Promotion night in July - over 12 helpers, with Andrew Green racing (4th, Experts (!!)), Paul Tunnell (25th,Vets).

Go-Ride

On achieving his Level 2 qualification, Huw Williams' status as a BC coach qualifies the club for national Go Ride status and the paperwork is currently being processed by British Cycling. Huw is currently undertaking the arduous task of coaching a few ACC members while pursuing a level 3 qualification as well as delivering Go Ride sessions to local schools and helping the regional Olympic youth talent team coach to spot our future generations of track/road stars.

Social

Away from their bikes, the members of the ACC darts team showed their talents in other directions, and were throwing arrows around various south London venues in the darts league. The clubroorn is currently open weekly on Wednesday evenings for Pilates classes organised for club members and talks on a variety of subjects this year have been as diverse as lactate balance point testing to bike maintenance. Other ideas of how to make full use of the clubroom are always welcome. We also switched the venue of our annual dinner to Selsdon Park Hotel to much praise from those in attendance.

2008 Awards List

OPEN EVENTS

JB Smith Memorial Road Race Trophy Ben Wilson - Private Member
E V Mills memorial shield (Open 25 TT) Paul Mill Team Edwardes/Elite Cycling 53.37
C F Davey memorial shield Bec CC - Keith Coffey, Shaun Kennedy, Dominic Hill 2hrs 44mins 24secs
Arthur Rayner trophy (Open 10 TT) Keith Coffey - Bec CC 21.57

SOCIAL AWARDS

Cambridge Tankard Jon Hemming and Tim Coales
Attendance Cup Steve Broomfield
Gerwyn Evans Darts Tankard John Smith
Ken Smith's Memorial Darts Tankard Paul Tunnell 60 (high check-out)

OFF-ROAD

Cyclo Cross League Aodan Higgins
Cycle Cross Trophy Sylvain Garde
MTB Trophy - Sylvain Garde

ROAD/CRIT

Pip Heathfield Trophy Michelle Le Brun
Criterium Trophy Hal Bransby
Road Race Novice Antony Leeson
Junior Road Race Trophy Stuart Chamberlayne
Road Race Trophy most improved 4th cat Keith Lea
Road Race Trophy most improved (2nd/3rd cat) Toks Adesanya
Road Race Trophy - best road racer of the year Michelle Le Brun

TIME-TRIALS/CLUB EVENTS

27/5/08 1st handicap Rob Taylor 18.03 2nd handicap Peter Motteram 19.29 3rd handicap Derek Cobb 19.53
10/6/08 1st handicap Andy Ellis 17.44 2nd handicap Rob Crozier 18.29 3rd handicap Ian Pringle 19.02
24/6/08 1st handicap Kate Hewett/Jeff Hewett 16.56 2nd handicap Michelle Le Brun/Keith Lea 16.57 3rd handicap Carole Heritage/Mike Ingram 17.55
22/7/08 1st handicap Jane Charlton 18.41 2nd handicap Ian Pringle 19.22 3rd handicap Ian Munnery 19.28
15-09-08 1st handicap S. Garde 18.11 2nd handicap H. Bransby 18.26 3rd handicap J. Camden 18.29 Stan Harvey Shield Fastest on handicap Sylvain Garde 18.11
George Fuller Trophy Club (Association) events 10,25,50,100 miles George Brent 25.916 mph

INTERCLUB EVENT - Inter Club 10 Miles Trophy Norwood Paragon

OPEN TT EVENTS
Novices 25 Medal Ivor Hewitt 1.10.32
Junior 10 Trophy Stuart Chamberlayne 22.37
Ladies 10 mile Dale Park Cup Tamar Collis 24.29
Ladies 25 Miles Cup Tamar Collis 1.05.51
Ted Davey Cup 10, 25 miles aggregate TamarCollis 1.30.20
Ladies 50 Miles Cup Tamar Collis 2.12.17
Ladies 100 Miles Cup Tamar Collis 4.34.00
Ladies BAR Championship Tamar Collis 22.452 mph
Veterans BAR Trophy Paul Tunnell +1.23.53
10 Miles Trophy George Brent 20.51
Addiscombe Cup (fastest 25 George Brent 56.23
President's Cup (fastest 50) George Brent 1.54.20
Century Trophy (fastest 100 George Brent 4.09.43
Vice President's Cup (fastest 12hr) George Brent 262 00 miles
E V Mills Racing Fund Trophy 2nd Fastest average speed 50 miles,100 miles & 12 hours Paul Tunnell 22.700 mph
Club Championship Trophy Fastest average speed 50 miles,100 miles & 12 hours George Brent 24.033 mph

SPECIAL AWARD

The Memorial Trophy - Huw Williams

Wednesday 21 January 2009

Kilt Alert!


The Addiscombe Cycling Club celebrated its 80th annual dinner and prize presentation last Saturday. We had loads of winners to cheer, and great news, David Weir MBE had kindly agreed to be our after dinner guest.
The dinner was a sell out and a packed room was extremely keen to quiz David on his career.

David’s question and answer session after dinner covered everything from his favourite wheel manufacturer, through his training regime, to how he feels disabled athletes are treated within sport and by the general public. He then kindly agreed to assist Joyce Smith, the club President, with the prize giving.

David did a fantastic job for us. He answered every question put to him with enthusiasm. He’s a great ambassador for his sport and clearly someone with a real passion to succeed. We were delighted that he agreed to help with the prize presentation; that meant a lot to all our winners.
The post dinner drinks went on long into the night, great company, a great event and loads of laughs too.
My mate Sylv took some great photos on the night and you can have a look at them here
Cheers! Snoop

Friday 9 January 2009

Bend & Stretch


Hmmmm

Aside from a few cycle commutes early December I seem to have temporarily fallen out of love with my bike? The recent cold weather plus the siren call of cake haven't helped much either. Still, I've got my Addiscombe Cycling Club (ACC) darts matches to help keep me fit (darts is a sport isn't it?).

More importantly, I've been secretly going to weekly Pilates classes since November. This is a class I helped to organise for ACC. We meet every week and Adam, our wonderful teacher, puts us all in a world of worthy pain. It's great fun, helps with building core strength, helps with balance and makes me think much more about posture and poise than I've ever done before (I'm the one on the left in the photo - yeah right!). This is Adam's website http://pilates-balance.com/ why not take a look and perhaps go along to a class or two yourself? I think you'll like it.

Snoop

Saturday 3 January 2009

New Year Cheez - Who Needs It?


Spent a wonderful December 31st celebrating Keira's birthday. Yummy heart shaped cake made by Holly (Keira's cousin) and, of course, pass the parcel.

Late afternoon saw us blasting off for Southsea where cake number 2, also heart shaped but this time made by the lovely Donna, was eagerly consumed.

10pm and several beers later it's off to Age's place to celebrate......his birthday. DJ sets in the kitchen, dear friends, hugs, kisses and more beer. Midnight came and went. Around 2am (I think) Mark and Age played and sang for the masses. Tuneful, melodic, great fun. Stupidly Mark then handed me his geetar and we went down down down as the flames went higher. I doubt if Portsmouth Prison Blues or Rock the Casbah has ever been sung faster, louder, raucouser?? More country cheez, 80s guff and to be honest, I forget where we finished. I vaguely remember getting to bed around 5.30.....sorry if yer ears are still buzzing, blinder!