Redhill Sporting 18 Mile TT

The Redhill Sporting 18. Straight to Hell - with in head song assistance from The Clash..

The plan, survive. The target, sub 1.05. The stretch, under the hour. Experimenting with no heart rate monitor/garmin/speedo - how's that gonna work?

I'm the last carrot in Sainsbury's, 2nd last man off. Pete Rocket Man Tadros is a minute behind me and the geezer in front of me did not start. I'm not looking forward to this - my head is in the wrong place, mentally like, it's still physically attached to my shoulders.

If you can play on the fiddle
How's about a British jig and reel?
Speaking King's English in quotations
As railhead towns feel the steel mills rust
water froze, In the generation
Clear as winter ice
This is your paradise

Spin off from the start down a short hill before getting slammed in the chest by the 1 in 8 fun of Coast Hill. I wonder if I can hold Tadros off until the top. 3/4 of the way up and I'm in a right old state, good job I don't have the heart rate monitor on as it would've burst. I made the summit and whooooosh, yer man goes past me like I'm rolling back down the hill. Hey ho, that'll be the last I see of anyone (cept the helpers) until the finish.This course has precious little going for it. It rolls, mostly upwards, and some of the road surface is v poor. So is my fitness level. I never felt good out there, never got on top of things, never managed to carry the downhill pace up the next hill.

There ain't no need for ya
There ain't no need for ya
Go straight to Hell
boys
Go straight to Hell boys

Two photographers and no tongues out from me, just the bitter twisted face of pain. As I'm hauling my ass round the course I'm thinking, "there ain't no way I'm gonna hit target, no way". I need some of that hypnotherapy.

Oh Papa-san
Please take me home
Oh Papa-san
Everybody they wanna go home

After what seemed an eternity, I pass a sign telling me I had five miles to go. Ahhh, something to focus on. This gave me a small boost and I'm sure I managed to push on from here. Four miles to go. Oooh, another one.

You wanna play mind-crazed banjo
On the druggy-drag ragtime U.S.A.?

The rest is pretty much a blur as I emptied the tank of the little gas that remained. I crossed the finish line and then began the longest roll back to race HQ I've ever had. I got back and felt awful. I didn't quite manage a puke but it was close.

Can you cough it up loud and strong

I'm pleased with my time of 57.27. It's at the top of what I could expect after a winter training regime of (mainly) cake and darts. Paul Hone asked if I was hungover, I must've looked rough. With hindsight, that small glass of port I had before retiring might not've been the smartest idea. Well done to all the ACC riders today and thanks to Rob RE for the shout. Well done to Redhill CC, a real killer ride, well marshalled.

Oh Papa-San
Please take me home

King For a Day? Plank for a Minute!

So, turns out I've been sneaking in a bit of pilates homework...

Yesterday early evening I found a quiet half hour in between bicycle fiddling, child party drop off/pick up, window cill varnishing duties.

Out came the mat and I spent the first few minutes feeling weirdly embarrassed (don't get that in class, only when flying solo). I was soon into the flow, pelvis tilting, mat thrusting and ab tightening with the best of 'em.

Lots of sit ups, feeling ribs slide, breaking at the breastbone (I think that's what Adam says). Good session of hamstring and inner wotsit stretches. Hard work feel the burn.

Then, the big finale. With trepidation I lie down on the mat. Fists balled I push up into the plank. A couple of weeks ago I managed 50 seconds of this, it hurts. Can I break the magic minute mark?

First 20 seconds goes by OK (ish) then it's a watch the clock but not too hard blur concentrate hold steady don't wobble ohmygod is that really only 40 seconds blimey how can this possibly hurt so much I'll never make it 50 seconds show no fear hold it hold it hold it aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghh!

61 seconds. Plank for a minute, king for a day!

Snoop