Cake Baker Extreme

Thanks to a broken down train I spent a vaguely enjoyable 20 minutes sitting in a carriage just outside West Croydon station today. For entertainment I had several copies of The Metro. Normally I wouldn't even sully my backside by using this drivel as bog paper but, needs must!

I found this in there (the Metro - not the lav), and I kinda liked it:

China: A husband has left his wife after she forced him to eat cake for every meal. Cheng Yu said he was happy with the sugary treats at first but now just mentioning the word cake made him feel ill. "Egg cake (whuh??), fruit cake, chocolate cake. I felt like a bakery dustbin" he said. The 31 year old from Beijing has threatened to divorce Tian Mae, 27, if she doesn't stop baking.

I reckon she should've married a cyclist.

Fireworks Display

Haven't been by for a while. Here's a little poem by K - brought home from school yesterday.

The Fireworks Display

Zooming rockets sometimes imposebel to see
because they zoom around all night

Roaring fireworks magnificently shooting up in the air

Sizzling sparcelers make me want to laugh because they
are like fairys dancing in the sky

Spinning catherine wheels sparkling in the sky like a ferris wheel

Good work kiddo ;)

The Summer, A Poem by Danny Dork

So I'm sitting in the park doing some work, escaping the noise and dust of the builders. It's a beautiful day, I'm the only one in the park, I must have the largest office in London, cool.

I look at the bench I'm sitting on and it has been signed by Danny Dork. I look at the paving around the bench and in the same handwriting is a poem. It reads:

The summer is getting shorter each day
We are not gonna change until it's away
Forget the routine and live life your way
Just like it's the last hot summer day

Not bad Mr Dork, could have tried a bit harder with the rhyming thing, but not bad.

Volcano Island, a poem by KJ Shaw, age 6.5

Volcano Island

Furious fire bursting with lava
Dark wild water scaring me away
Dark scary clouds touching my head
Scary flashing lightning

The Power of Poo

Damn! Seems those darn critters are good for something after all. K, I bow to your superior intellect.

Remnants of Romance

Hippy the Hippo and Hugger the Bear had a date round our place earlier today. It didn't work out too well as Hippy has gone home and Hugger went to bed, softly crying. I'm not sure why love didn't blossom, for sure it can't have been the dinner.

The flowers were hand picked from the garden. What was on the hand written menu?

Pasta, Lazana, Spageti, Salard, Rise + Chicken, Lobster, Lamb-chap, meringue ice-creem, Yogaut Drink

I spied the waiter's pad. They ordered Two meedem porshens of lobster and meringue ice creem.

I'm lost. I have no idea why they are not still together, have you?

Roll the tanks, call up an airstrike

I was in the garden picking veg for our tea. On the fence I saw the airforce waiting for their orders to swoop. On the broad beans I saw a fleet of red and black tanks, rolling over the green hills, laying waste to the blackfly hordes.

In my bowl, I see the prize. I'm hungry, not for long.